You have won!
by Hawklan
Summary: An unexpected letter reaches the Dark Lord!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If you think I own anything related to Harry Potter, I have a nice bridge to sell to you. Sadly all rights to HP belong to J.K. Rowling and not to me. All I own is a 13 year old car and an old PC, so suing me won't bring you a lot moneywise.

Title: You have won!

Beta: Inachis

Note: Just a little one shot I had to get out of my mind and which already had slept quite a while on my usb-stick.

(Malfoy Manor)

Tom Riddle aka Voldemort sat on his throne in the main room of Malfoy Manor and was listening to the reports of his slaves. At the moment he was quite displeased and held Wormtail under a Crucio and was enjoying it as always. Suddenly his fun was interrupted as a brown post owl knocked against one of the windows.

He stopped the Crucio on the rat and with a wave of his wand the window opened and the owl flew in. It flew a small circle and then landed in front of the Dark Lord. It held out a leg with a letter attached to it.

Confused, about who would or could send him a letter via owl, the Dark Lord quickly checked it for spells and other nasty things before taking it. The owl quickly took to the air again and left through the still open window.

Voldemort looked at the letter and at reading the name on it, 'Tom Marvello Riddle jr.,' he growled in anger, raised his wand and randomly yelled 'Avada Kedavra'. One of his minions fell dead to the ground.

Enraged, the Dark Lord ripped open the envelope and took out the folded paper. "Muggle Paper?" he yelled in outrage and with another AK one of his remaining minions fell to the ground.

After he had calmed down a bit he started to read the letter.

_Hello Tom,_

_I know you really don't like that name, but really… Voldemort just sounds silly. You really should think about getting a new name. But enough of that, you're surely asking yourself why I of all people am sending you a letter. In the end it is quite simple. I've written to you to tell you that you have won. By the time you read this letter I've already left England with my friends and all that I own. The rest of the English Wizarding World is yours to take or to fail trying to take, whichever way things go. I don't really care. Just remember the prophecy. You know, one interpretation of it could be that as long as we don't kill each other, we can't be killed. Which makes us Immortal. So don't come looking for me and we'll both have a lot of time to do whatever we want._

_I'm also sending a copy of this letter to the Quibbler and every other paper, except to those idiots at the Daily Prophet, so I'll explain a bit the reason why I'm leaving England to you._

_I made my decision to leave after I asked myself a simple question: why should I care about Wizarding England?_

_Sadly the answer to that was that there is no reason at all to care about it. Instead, I came up with a lot of answers as to why I should let it rot in its own misery._

_Those things would be:_

_My parents were murdered by a so called Dark Lord (you now…you). _

_Then I was placed, by the holier than thou light wizard Albus Dumbledore, with my mother's muggle sister and her family. He did that knowing it was against the wishes of my parents and that my aunt hated magic, but as the supreme over idiot of the Wizengamot (also known as the House of Fools), he had sealed my parent's will, leaving none the wiser._

_My godfather Sirius Black, who should have taken care of me, was thrown into Azkaban for betraying my parents, killing several Muggles and Wormtail (aka Peter Pettigrew). Conveniently, this happened without a trial or the use of Veritaserum, which would have proven his innocence. But that wouldn't have worked with Dumbledorks plans for me._

_I was left to grow up by the Wizarding world in an abusing and hating environment and was treated even worse than your bootlicker Malfoy treats his houseelves._

_Finally, as I turned eleven, I learned that I was a wizard and that my parents were killed by you. Until then I had always been told that my parents were useless drunks who died in a car crash._

_In my first year we met for the first time (that I can really remember anyway) while you possessed the DADA teacher Quirrell and we had our disagreement about who should have the Philosopher's Stone, which had been hidden in Hogwarts by Albus 'goatfucking' Dumbledorky._

_I could continue this list for quite a long while, but then I would miss my plane so let's say I found no reasons to help a Wizarding folk, who let me be tortured by my relatives, by the Potions 'Professor' Snape, by the toad Umbridge (while using an illegal Blood Quill no less), let me be called a liar and insane and much more by the Daily Prophet idiots and also by the Minister 'I take bribes from Death Eaters' Fudge._

_Now that I have turned seventeen I have claimed my heritage as Lord Potter and have had quite a long talk with the Goblins at Gringotts. I have a few nice laughs for you thanks to that chat. You know, the Potters were quite a rich family, who owned a lot of property and were the heirs to the Gryffindor line. At the time of this letter, Minister Fudge should be getting an eviction notice, seeing as the Ministry has failed to pay their rent for the Ministry building for the last sixteen years (since my parents were killed) and have ignored all reminders they had received from my account manager. Sadly, he couldn't do anything else about it without the say-so of the current Lord Potter._

_Also I own 45% of the Daily Prophet. Funny, isn't it? If you'd like to have those, send your lackey Malfoy to the Goblins with a good offer. As a final note, a lot of the stores in Diagon Alley will be closing in the next few days, because the owners (all purebloods) also thought that they didn't have to pay rent anymore after my parents were killed._

_So have fun in England while I start to enjoy my life outside of this bigoted environment._

_Your ex Archenemy _

_Lord Harry James Potter  
><em> 

Voldemort stared at the letter in disbelief for a while, then read it again and finally started to laugh like the evil maniac that he is.

He calmed down again after a few minutes of evil laughter and then yelled, "Lucius, my lackey…Go to the Goblins and inquire after what Lord Potter wants for the offered deal and then take it."

He laughed a bit more and couldn't believe his luck. The English Wizarding World had eliminated the only obstacle for him to finally dominate them. Thinking about that he just couldn't stop laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If you think I own anything related to Harry Potter, I have a nice bridge to sell to you. Sadly all rights to HP belong to J.K. Rowling and not to me. All I own is a 13 year old car and an old PC, so suing me won't bring you a lot moneywise.

Title: Thank you for the gift!

Beta: Inachis (who sincerely apologises for the long turnaround... Better late than never? ^_^')

Note: Thank you to all to the awesome reaction to 'You have won!'. I would have thought one or two reviews would be fine for it, but the actual number was mind-blowing and shows that reviews get you everywhere, even to an unplanned sequel. I hope you will enjoy this as much as the first one.

Summary: After the nice letter the Dark Lord has received, he decided to answer.

Chapter 2

(A sandy beach on Mako Island, Australian Sea, two years after Harry left England)

"HARRY!" was the yell that destroyed the nice and quiet evening Harry had planned to spend with his wives on this nice beach near their home. Harry looked up and saw Ron running down the stairs that led to the small private beach. He was yelling "HARRY!" again.

Groaning, he stood up and replied, "I heard you the first time, Ron. We aren't deaf, you know. So why are you disturbing our only free evening this week?"

Ron finally reached them and as he stood still he looked at them and blushed. "You...you... are naked...," he stuttered.

"And?" Harry asked, nonplussed.

"But... but...," Ron stuttered further.

"Ron...We like to sunbath in the nude here. Everyone does from time to time and that's why we don't disturb the free evening of our friends who want to spend some time here. So why did you broke that unspoken rule so rudely?" Harry said in an annoyed tone.

"There's a letter for you...," Ron replied, still gaping at his three friends.

"First of Ron, it's rude to stare at my wives and secondly, I get letters in the dozens every day. Why is that reason to interrupt our well deserved timeout?"

Harry looked at him a bit angrily now and said, "And why the heck is a letter from that fisherman important enough to interrupt us?"

Ron looked at his friend confusedly and then shook his head. "No, not that Tom, it's from Riddle."

Harry shook his head and said to his old friend. "Ron, do us all a favor and go back to Lavender. I will read it tomorrow."

"But...but... it's from Voldemort," Ron stuttered again.

"And?" Harry asked.

"You have to read it," Ron insisted.

"And I will...tomorrow," was Harry's reply.

"But...," Ron started to say, but was interrupted by Harry. "No buts Ron. If you can give me one good reason why it's more important to read a letter from old snake face than to make love to my two beautiful wives while we watch the sun go down, then I will read it. If not, bugger off."

Ron looked at him, then at the two witches who were giving him the evil eye and wised up. "Ok, ok. I'll put it on your desk," he said and then quickly retreated before Hermione used the wand she was pointing at him with an evil smile.

After Ron vanished at speeds almost greater than that of a Tasmanian Devil, Daphne sat up, smiled at her husband and said, "So, planning to make love to us two, are you...? Hmm..yes, I think that's an idea we can agree to. What do you say, 'Mionie?"

"Sounds good to me," Hermione said with a smile that promised good things to come for Harry. "So come over here, oh husband of ours."

+T+

(Harry's house, Mako Island, next morning)

A tired, but happy looking Harry sat down together with his two beautiful wives Hermione and Daphne at their breakfast table and enjoyed the warm morning sun. After they enjoyed their tea, or in Harry's case coffee, and croissants Hermione suddenly remembered Ron's interruption yesterday. "Harry, I just remembered. Didn't Ron say something about a letter from Tom yesterday?"

Harry looked at her for a second until he remembered as well. "Yes, there was something. I nearly forgot. I was somewhat distracted by these two beautiful minxes I know."

"Dear husband of us, we've only been married for 3 months and already you're distracting yourself with minxes?" Daphne said in a mocking tone.

"Sorry Daph, but I had no chance to resist those two. I was blinded by their brilliance and caught in their net. There was no escape from them," he replied with a smirk, which earned him a bit of pudding in the middle of his face from Daphne.

One food fight later a giggling Hermione finally uttered, "Letter?"

"Ahh yes...There is that. Let's go into the study," Harry said.

"One moment," Hermione said and pulled her wand right out of her bikini top, a performance that Harry watched in fascination. "Even though I know all about the trick behind that, it's always an amazing sight," he mumbled.

Hermione smiled at him and then cleaned them all with three quick "Scourgify's". Then they were off to their study, leaving behind them a mess of food and food stains.

They soon reached the study and there on Harry's desk they saw a letter with the name Lord Harry James Potter written in a neat golden script on it.

"HARRY," yelled Hermione and Harry who was only a moment away from picking up the letter stopped and looked at his wife, who was glaring at him. "Harry Potter... Have you ever heard of portkeys and other things a wizard can do to a letter or other things, such as cups, for instance?" Hermione grumbled.

"Oops," Harry replied a little sheepishly. Quickly getting his wand from his wrist holder, he used every detection charm he knew on the letter. He quickly dispelled the portkey and several other nasty things on it and now was moving to pick the letter up just to be stopped by Daphne's "Potter..."

"What now?" Harry asked as he turned back to his wives. "Nothing," Daphne said. "I just wanted to test if you hear on me as well," she continued with a smirk and then threw him some gloves he quickly caught. "But wear those just to be sure."

Harry signed, put the gloves on and then finally picked the letter up and opened it.

Hello Harry,

If you are reading this and are not in my company, you will have detected and removed the little surprises I placed on the letter. Sorry about that, but it was worth a try, wasn't it? I hope you can forgive a Dark Lord for at least trying?

My apologies also for not replying to the nice letter you wrote to me a while ago before now, but I guess you know I have been quite busy in Britain? Of course you know. After all, some of your friends are still active in dear old England, aren't they? But enough about that, I must say at first I was quite annoyed about your letter, as several of my minions could no doubt tell you. Of course you would have to know necromancy for that. But after reading it again I found your letter quite amusing and let me tell you, even if it took me a bit over a year after you left to solidify my dominion of the British Wizarding world, it was quite boring.

After all, you took most of the people who would have proven to make my take over interesting with you and you only left me with the incompetent Fudge and the nearly broken Albus to contend with. I must say he never got over the fact you left his manipulating clutches and then? In our great duel at the grounds of Hogwarts the old fart had the gull to die of a heart attack with your name being the last thing coming out of his lips. Can you believe such rudeness?

So in the end I took over Britain without even a worthwhile duel. Out of sheer boredom I had a nice chat with your friendly ex teacher, Umbridge. If you have a pensive in your possession I can send you a vial with the memory of that 'talk' sometime. I never knew a Blood Quill can be so much fun. Seeing her face as she had to write 'I'm a huge part of the reasons why Lord Harry James Potter left Britain to the merciful Lord Voldemort' over and over again was quite amusing. So now I sit here on my throne and even torturing Fudge or your family the Dursley's isn't much fun anymore. Frankly, I'm quite bored. You wouldn't have it in your heart to find some time for a nice friendly duel, would you? If you do, you know where to find me.

So thank you for your gift, even if it turned out to be quite boring in the end.

Sincerely your

Lord Voldemort

Dark Overlord and ruler of all of Wizarding Britain

Harry put down the letter after he read it a second time and then silently held it out to Hermione, who quickly took it and read it together with Daphne.

"Interesting," Hermione said. "Do you think the time to strike is near now?" Daphne continued.

Harry shook his head. "Not yet, we still have to learn a lot before we will try anything. For now, it's more than enough to get as many magical beings out of England as we can. We know changing the way the British Wizarding world runs is near to impossible. We would have to take out nearly all of the purebloods to be able to make any difference and then we wouldn't be much better than them. So I guess getting everyone we can out is the best thing for now. So, what's on our plan for today Hermione?"

"First Material Arts and after that something new. I just got a few instructors for it and I think you will like it."

Harry looked at her for a moment and waited to see if she would tell him more, but she kept quiet. Knowing Hermione, it would be fruitless to try to find out more before she wanted him to know and so he just shrugged his shoulders. "Ok then, let's go for our MA training."

The threesome quickly dressed for the class and then went to the small dojo they had built. Inside they could see all of their friends who had already started to warm up or were doing some hits and kicks against sandbags or other training equipment.

They saw Neville, Luna, Ron and Lavender Brown who were doing warm-ups on one of the training mats. George and Fred Weasley were working on one of the wooden men in the room, while their former Quidditch team mates and now girlfriends used the boxing bags. Susan Bones was doing a kata while her girlfriend Hannah was rope-jumping.

Harry smiled as he watched all of his friends. The dojo was quite filled with the sixty people training in it. Just moments after the three greeted them all with a wave they started their own warm up and five minutes later they all looked up as a stranger entered the room and called them all to their lesson. Harry looked surprised at the Chinese man who was dressed in a yellow training outfit with black stripes on the sides. Before he could say anything, Hermione said,

"Tonks...You really shouldn't watch so many old Kung Fu movies."

"Spoilsport," was the answer from the stranger. "I like those movies."

Two hours later the training was finished and after everyone had taken a quick shower, they met before the dojo. Everyone looked expectantly at Hermione. After everyone has given her their attention, Hermione said, "Ok friends. Today there will be no dueling or spell casting, as we will be learn something new. Please follow Daphne and me. We prepared the new training grounds over the last couple of days and our instructors await us there."

+T+

(Mako Island, a small secret pool in a cave)

Emma, Rikki and Cleo looked at each other in confusion and finally Rikki asked her friends. "Did you hear that?"

Emma and Cleo nodded and Emma said, "That sounded like gun shots."

"Here on Mako?" Chloe asked. "Should we check it out?"

Emma and Rikki nodded. "Yes, but we should be careful."

The three left the pool of water and prepared themselves to find out what was happening on the island they saw as their little refuge.

Additional Disclaimer: Mako Island, Rikki, Emma and Cleo don't belong to me. They belong to Jonathan M. Shiff Productions who created the Australian TV Series H2O.


End file.
